I woke up on Monday knowing that this week was going be slow as hell. Nobody cares about work the week before Christmas except for mall Santas and men of the cloth; everyone else mails it in. Even television isn’t new this week which leaves me with nothing to do at home. I have to decide between reruns of CSI: New York and CSI: Miami? This is a buster ass existence I live right here.
Naturally, I’m sneaking out of work early. I’m bored at work because nothing is coming in. I want to leave work as early as possible so I can go and be bored at home.
I time it up right. It’s 4 PM and a 136 is rolling up outside pretty soon. All I’ve got to do is grab my coat and hit the elevator bank. The desk light and computer stay on because I only care about the environment when it suits my needs. Right now the light needs to stay on so people think I didn’t leave. Sorry, ozone.
What do you do? You see that I’m leaving and start yelling my name so everyone knows that I’m rolling out. You’re like a buster HR alarm system right now. Why do you even care when I leave? What do you gain from telling everyone that I’m taking off? This is the equivalent of a work place cock block. I’ve got a good thing going and you just come to mash it to pieces. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to change my mind on leaving; I’ve picked up the coat and I’m fully committed to walking out that door. If I’m clearly leaving and turn around when someone sees my then it’s an admission of guilt. No goddamn way I’m pulling some buster move like that.
Work Tattletales are buster. Keep coming back.
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