J&S Nuptials (part 1)

About as unbuster an event as you're going to find. It didn't even feel like a wedding at times; more like a multicultural rave with open bar and bbq buffet. Butt dances and jalapeno mac & cheese all over the place.

-Take Friday off so we can get out in time for the rehearsal dinner. I typically use my PTO time in order to watch Law & Order reruns/stare at the fish tank so it’s nice that I can use it for a useful cause.
-Can't go anywhere in the city without getting harassed by a weirdo on the train. What are you shaking at me, sir? A box of cereal? Terrific. Can I please go on with my day without worrying about you stabbing me? Wonderful.
-Woah, this is a Jeep and I booked an economy car. Same rate? Free upgrade? I wish I had a camera so I could scrapbook this moment.
-Listen, Mapquest, what you do makes sense. You give the absolute SHORTEST route out to the burbs. But do you really think I want to drive 10 miles through the city instead of heading straight to 94? Rolling past the Dress Barn at 15 mph? Buster situation. I smell nothing but Chinese food; what part of the city am I in right now?
-Double Tree Hotel just bringing high heat with these cookies. How do they keep them warm at the desk?
-Unpack and visit the groom. That's a lot of flowers, boss.
-Rehearsal dinner. I’m about to +1 this place up the butt.
-Pizza and beers and beers and lasagna and pizza and beers and beers. I can't drive.
-Ground floor party! Getting drunk with toddlers walking around is a change of pace.
-Nice to meet you! What's your name? I already forgot; let’s go to the bar!
-Karma Lounge is closed and this bartender seems buster as hell. Take it easy, sister.
-There's an Irish pub about a mile away? I've already started walking; see you there in an hour.
-Never mind, we'll just pack 12 people into this van cab. What does it cost? Whatever we want? That’s not correct; is that how business works in the suburbs?
-LOCALS! These guys are eye banging me so hard that I think they owe me a dinner or something.
-L just grabs a tambourine and gets after it with the house band. Only girls can pull that move; a fella would catch a boot to the teeth.
-Inhaling cigars. Buster situation for the lungs.
-Who bought me a car bomb? Is it on the house? I’ll pretend it’s on the house. Watch me sip the Bailey's and drink the Guiness like a normal beer. Don't judge.
-Last call. I hope I don’t pee the bed.

J&S Nuptials (part 1) was unbuster. Keep coming back.