J&S Nuptials (part 3)

Continue from part 2

-This is an awesome venue. Open bar in a silo? Yup, open bar in a silo. Deal with it.
-Appetizers before dinner. I certainly didn’t need 10 wings but damn these things were hot fire. If I wasn’t so concerned about pooping at a wedding I’d have put down 40.
-Great set of speeches by everyone. Humor + memories of youth + fellas tearing up = wonderful wedding moments. Well done.
-Dinner time. HOLY SHIT! There’s jalapeño in the mac & cheese. Did you know that? I’ve never seen that before! Do I have any brisket on my face? Yea? Fuck it; have you tried the cornbread?
-I’m so full. Just two more scoops of mac & cheese. And some chicken. And cornbread.
-First dance as a married couple. This is always kinda sweet. Wait, what’s that? Persian music? Something’s happening. Uh oh, that’s fancy Persian lingerie. Persian house music dance party? PERSIAN HOUSE MUSIC DANCE PARTY!
-Father of the bride is just shredding the dance floor right now and gives grandma the Persian lingerie. Grandma decides to just chill with it; grandma’s not getting up.
-I’ve basically walked through a wrinkle in the time-space continuum and landed in Iran because there are just cousins and aunts and uncles rolling shoulders in ways I’ve never seen. I don’t even know if my bone structure will allow me to replicate some of the dance moves I’m seeing.
-Drinks and drinks and dancing and drinks. Katy Perry to Persian house music to Journey. Bud Lights flowing. Lovin it.
-Take a picture with a word bubble written in Farsi? Sure, what’s it say? Doesn’t matter, I don’t know what the hell an “energy kiss” is either and I took a photo with that one.
-Don’t trouble yourself, boss, I’ll just fill up my own cup off the keg.
-Oh, Cee Lo’s playing. I like this song. Hahaha, no they don’t want me to do the butt dance at their wedding.
-Bride and Groom WANT me to do the dance? Whatever, your wedding FIVESIXSEVENEIGHTBUTTBUTTBUTTTIMECAPSULETIMECAPSULE!
-People missed the first butt dance? Alright, I’ll do it a second time but my hearts not in it 100%. I feel dirty.
-Party’s over; clean up time. I probably shouldn’t be climbing along the wall in my condition but these streamers are coming down NOW.
-Gotta unload the car at the hotel. Wow, that’s a lot of leftover desserts.
-Karma Lounge! Buster ass bartender working again. Maybe she’s in a better mood tonight?
-Nope. She still stinks. Crack a smile, lady.
-Things get fuzzy after this but afterhours, vomit, and pizza all made an appearance.
-3:30 AM bedtime. Great wedding. Tomorrow is going to suck ass.

J&S Nuptials (part 3) was unbuster. Keep coming back.