I’ve wanted to get a bookshelf for quite a while. It’s primarily to hide the ugly ass phone jack on the wall but a bookshelf is also a great way to make visitors feel bad about themselves. “Yes, I read economics books for fun. Don’t you? Hmmm, well it isn’t for everyone I guess.” That may sound elitist but you don’t know how often I go to work with ketchup stains on my pants. I’m more of an extremely literate toddler. Another good reason for having a bookshelf is because it increases your chances of librarian sex. Librarian sex is not buster but it’s probably very quiet.
Girlfriend comes to help and the first store we visit is closed until 11:00. That’s cool, there’s a gas station café nearby so we can kill some time. After coffee and Hostess Donettes we head back to the store at 11:15. Still closed. Buster ass move.
We eventually get into the store and see that the prices are about as buster as you’re going to get so we head to Target up the street. I find what I need in about 10 minutes but girlfriend needs to spend additional time in the lamp aisle. I’m confused because this was not a lamp shopping trip.
The new purchase gets put on the floor and sits there until Sunday at about 4 PM. It would have gotten done earlier but hangover + Bears playoff game = couch time. On a side note, Jay Cutler’s game was not buster but he didn’t smile enough for Rick Reilly. Rick Reilly has a face like a fart warehouse. I open the box and take out what seems like a dozen pieces of wood and 40 screws. I look at the directions and it’s very possible that I’m going to throw up but that’s not the biggest issue. I’m going through all of the pieces of wood and they’re all busted and scuffed up. Really Target? I’m basically the president of your fan club and you’re going to sell me scuffed up bookshelves? Buster ass move. You think librarian sex is going down with this scuffed up piece? Hell no. Maybe some hand stuff over the jeans but that’s about it.
Scuffed Bookcase is buster. Keep coming back.
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