Street Mad Dog

I’m on the bus and things are pretty much normal. It’s way too hot. People are pissing me off. I keep on thinking that I’m going to throw up. It’s a regular Monday so far.

Until we get near the Michigan Avenue stop and some homeless dude comes out of nowhere and starts staring at one of the passengers. Shit just got real. This guy is just trying to get to his 9-5 and you’re gonna roll up in jean shorts and mad dog him? Buster ass move, sir. This wasn’t a normal stare, either. This was an “I ate a pigeon last night and you’re about to get stabbed by a knife I made out of a pizza box” kind of stare. Worst kind there is.

I really felt for this guy who was getting stared down. It doesn’t matter that we’re in a “civilized society” where fighting isn’t permitted for the most part; you don’t stare a dude down. I don’t care if a guy becomes a wet nurse and has elective surgery that allows him to breast feed; if you stare at him long enough with crazy eyes he’s gonna try to curb stomp you. All of that aside, this guy on the bus was in his 9-5 clothes (not scrapping clothes by a mile) and this crazy guy has nothing to lose. You think a mad dogging homeless dude cares about getting into a street scuffle? Motherfucker swaps strains of hepatitis with his buddies like they’re trading cards. Trading communicable diseases for fun is buster as hell.

Eventually the bus started moving again and no scuffle ensued, I went back to reading my book, and I’m assuming the guy on the street continued searching for someone whose nose he could eat for breakfast.

Street Mad Dog was buster. Keep coming back.