One day that doesn’t matter at all. Obviously I’m going to do some crazy drug that I’d never touch in real life outside of the Groundhog Day universe. I’m obviously not going to name every fucking drug because that’s too long a process and I’m kind of a square so I don’t know them all. Here we go (WITH RANKINGS!):
-Heroin (2 out of 10) – I don’t like needles and it looks like a major bummer. Just shoot up and nod off for 6 hours? You don’t seem to be taking advantage of the Groundhog Day experience.
-LSD (6 out of 10) – Strong possibility. Just run around the city and enjoy THE COLORS but later find out I really just laid on the floor and shit myself.
-PCP (4 out of 10) – The people I see on World Star Hip Hop seem to be having one hell of a time but I saw an episode of Cops where a dude on PCP ran through a fence and was just wrecking dicks. I don’t want to become King Koopa and fuck someone up even if it’s a do-over at the end of the day.
-Cocaine (7 out of 10) – Just FUCKING DANCE.
-Ecstasy (8 out of 10) – Just FUCKING DANCE WITH AN ERECTION.
-Weed (5 out of 10) – This doesn’t seem to be making full use of the day. Play video games, watch TV, and eat shitty all day? Bedtime by 10 PM? That doesn’t seem baller at all.
-Meth (6 out of 10) – Mostly because I want to figure out what it’s like to do a drug that will turn you into a zombie within a year. I bet it’s awesome.
So it looks like Ecstasy by a nose. If you ever see me solo dancing at some bar then just leave me alone. I’m trying to keep homeless guys from dying so I can bang Andie MacDowell.
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