Chicago Winter

I wake up this morning at 6 AM because they say that the early bird gets the worm. I’m not sure that’s totally true. Most likely, there’s more than one worm to catch. Also, it’s possible that the worm sleeps in so getting there early may just mean you wait around like an asshole. It doesn’t really matter because breakfast worms are buster. I prefer a bagel.

I open the windows to get a view of what’s it’s like outside. It’s as dark right as it was when I went to bed. Unless you’re a vampire bat, going to sleep and waking up when it’s dark is buster.

I go outside and immediately get blasted in the face with wind. I’m not pleased.

You know what the worst part is? Winter here shuts shit down and there’s nothing to do. It’s not like in Colorado where you can go skiing or Utah where fun Mormon kids will have pleasant snowball fights while abstaining from sex and drugs. Chicago is just a freezing cold murder prairie with some buildings on top of it. It’s dreary, and dreariness is buster. The only activity available is ice skating and that gets a C-. The only people who like ice skating are hockey players and girls who want to re-create scenes from Lifetime movies. Lifetime is probably the most buster ass channel out there and I’m still pissed that they cancelled Unsolved Mysteries. Remember that show? Robert Stack held shit down.

Chicago Winter is buster. Keep coming back.