I don’t talk about my birthday anymore for a couple of reasons. To begin, it’s a terrible look. Telling people that your birthday is coming up is one of the sadder things that you can do. You may as well give them the money to buy a cake if you’re going to announce your birthday is coming up.
The second reason is that birthdays are officially nothing to celebrate at my age. From age 4-11 you imagine being a big kid and having a job delivering newspapers so it’s exciting. Birthday’s 12-14 are exciting because dick hair shows up. 15-20 is basically a countdown to getting shitfaced on the reg. After 21 it’s all downhill because there’s nothing left to celebrate. Happy 28th! What are your wishes this year? I wish that my balls wouldn’t hurt when the bus hits a pot hole. Fuck you.
Birthdays are now buster. Keep coming back.
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