Bar Girls

I’m not used to being approached by girls at the bar. There have been a number of reasons for me not being terribly approachable throughout the years (beer stained clothing, falling asleep at bar by 11, chain smoking cigarettes, food in beard, etc) and I was fine with that. I could have put gel in my hair and dressed nicer and tried harder to meet girls but I preferred to get drunk in the corner and wrestle with friends. We make the choices we make. The point is that I'm not used to being approached by women.

So if I AM approached by a girl I assume that she’s there to roofie me and steal my kidney/stuff me full of coke and use me as a drug mule/etc. In my mind there’s no reason for us to be conversing unless you’re trying to steal my organs. So, if there’s a girl out there who approached a bearded dude recently and ended up getting stiff armed then let me apologize. I thought I was in danger.

Bar Girls are buster. Keep coming back.